Please note this has not gone into editing yet so forgive any mistakes!
Excerpt:
He had no choice but to do as Jolie said. Liam kicked away from
the pier and started swimming toward the shore with Madison in tow. As Jolie
started to swim out from under the pier, another wave slammed into her. She had
nothing left. Jolie got tossed around and the last thing she felt was absolute
panic as her lungs filled with water and her head slammed against the wooden
beams. That was when everything started to fade away.
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OMG what will happen to her? I hope he's able to get back in time to help her. You did such a good job with the description, I too felt short of breath. Great hook.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope she doesn't give up...and neither does he!! How terrifying. You really DO like to tug at the heart strings, don't you?
ReplyDeleteCrikey! That is worrying. How frightening to be nearly drowning. Great hook. Well done. ��
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Oh, wow. Great hook!
ReplyDeleteNice action hook :-)
ReplyDeleteUh, crap. That sucks. I wonder who will come to her rescue. Nice job :)
ReplyDeleteGreat hook...it leaves you wanting more!
ReplyDeleteOh no! Way to hook us and leave us dangling.
ReplyDeleteIntense! Good hook! :)
ReplyDeleteLots of unanswered questions! Way to hook me!
ReplyDelete